More things you didn’t know (and wished you never read)

3. While it’s an offence to drop litter on the pavement, it’s not an offence to throw it over someone’s garden wall.

I’ll remember that one on the way home tonight.

7. Baboons can tell the difference between English and French. Zoo keepers at Port Lympne wild animal park in Kent are having to learn French to communicate with the baboons which had been transferred from Paris zoo.

If not only becuase they’re a bunch of surrender monkeys.

11. One in 10 Europeans is allegedly conceived in an Ikea bed.

At Ikea?

21. One person in four has had their identity stolen or knows someone who has.

In other news, Dave Jenkins has just found out that his real name is Doris Jennings. The mixup was caused after an identity was stolen at birth.

One in four people does not know 192, the old number for directory inquiries in the UK, has been abolished.

It got fed up of having it’s identity stolen. It now works as a bus for London Transport running from Tottenham Hale to Edmonton Green.

29. When faced with danger, the octopus can wrap six of its legs around its head to disguise itself as a fallen coconut shell and escape by walking backwards on the other two legs, scientists discovered.

When faced with danger, Chuck Norris performs six roundhouse kicks to the assailants head. They don’t escape and can now only walk backwards and drink from coconuts.

30. There are an estimated 1,000 people in the UK in a persistent vegetative state.

…after six roundhouse kicks from Chuck Norris.

34. The Little Britain wheelchair sketch with Lou and Andy was inspired by Lou Reed and Andy Warhol.

…and six roundhouse kicks from Chuck Norris.

49. Tim Henman has a tennis court at his new home in Oxfordshire which he has never used.

That explains a lot.

92. You are 176 times more likely to be murdered than to win the National Lottery.

…especially if you have won the lottery.

Read the full list at BBC News