New Male Contraceptive Hits The Spot
Monday, October 30th, 2006Scientists have developed a new contraceptive for men which blocks the development of sperm.
“It’s based around the concept of Roshambo.” says Dr Schwarmy Hildenblockfensteinbergerweismanshore from Kings College University. “Before a couple engages in a sexual act, the female kicks her partner square in the testicles with her right foot. This causes significant trauma to the genitalia preventing sperm production by the testes.”
However, Dr Hildenblockfensteinbergerweismanshore goes on to say, “One possible side effect seen with this method of contraception is reduced sensation during intercourse and possible blackouts. Not to mention swelling and possible anal bleeding.”
It’s good news for women also, “We do notice that women get a increased level of satisfaction with this method even if duration of intercourse is reduced or absent. Some women have even reported continued administration of the contraceptive throughout the night; even after their partner has fallen asleep [cough].” the doctor concluded.
Other methods for preventing unwanted pregnancy:
- The ‘Rick James Slap’ - guaranteed to knock that bitch out and save you time and money
- The ‘OJ Special’ - take one black glove, a big knife and get to chopping
- The Ugly Stick - if your partner has been beaten with it, you’re probably already sleeping in single beds
- Ghonorrea - when your shit falls off/out, problem solved