The Amazing Mr. T

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and only one to do so.

Mr. T’s incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn’t have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T’s.

23. That’s the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That’s why he can only kick through doors.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Mr. T doesn’t obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.

Mr. T’s hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

When Mr. T cuts onions, it’s the onions doing the crying.

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

The Manhattan Project really did not create the atom bomb, but instead put Mr. T’s pity in a bottle and then dropped it on Japan.

When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.

Mr. T rejoiced as President George W. Bush was elected to office, as the coming administration would assure that he would never run out of fools to pity.

Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.