Move over Bird Flu…

Are we about to be hit by a Nerd Flu epidemic?

The nerd flu, while common, is hard to track because it is often difficult for health care workers to diagnose. People suffering from the nerd flu may exhibit symptoms including pale or clammy skin, exhaustion caused by minimal physical effort, difficulty communicating in socially acceptable manners and delusions of grandeur.

“Like the rats of the Black Plague, the nerd flu travels by mouse,” warns Jackson. “Support staff often brings the flu into the nerd community after contracting it from the mice of ‘carriers’.”

Ways to avoid the nerd flu:
Experts suggest a system of dumbification to ward of the seasonal nerd flu

1. Buy a Roxio brand MP3 player and constantly refer to it as an “iPod” even to people who you know know the difference
2. Change your car stereo presets to: 1. Clear Channel 2. Right wing talk 3. Sports talk 4. Anything with the word “Mix” in it
3. Begin using Microsoft™ Windows™
4. Shop at a brick and mortar store once per month - try not to obsess about the inventory database or the distribution logistics
5. Read Cosmopolitan magazine cover to cover and choose three pages that were interesting in non-masturbatory ways

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