Limericks

There once was a man from Cass,
who’s balls were made out of brass.
During stormy weather,
his balls clanged together,
and a lightning bolt shot from his ass.

There once was a man from Pompeii.
Who fashioned a c*nt out of clay.
He stuck in his prick;
The clay turned to brick;
And wore his poor foreskin away.

There once was a young mouse named Keith
Who circumcised boys with his teeth
It wasn’t for leisure
Or sexual pleasure
But to get to the cheese underneath

There once was a woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling.
She lay on her back
And opened her crack,
And pissed all over the ceiling.

There once was a woman named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick as a phallus.
They found her vagina
Up in North Carolina,
And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas.