The spectacular Chuck Norris

• The popular videogame “Doom” is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back.
• Chuck Norris can count backwards from infinity.
• In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris , and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
• Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.
• Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
• You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
• Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his “Filet of Child” sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
• On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• Whenever Chuck Norris puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.
• The eternal conundrum “what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object” was finally solved when Chuck Norris punched himself in the face.