Decoding Women’s Personal Ads

40-ish…………………………..49.
Adventurous…………………..Slept with everyone.
Athletic………………………….No breasts.
Average looking………………..Moooo.
Beautiful……………………….Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure…………….On medication.
Feminist…………………………..Fat or skinny, certainly ugly.
Free spirit……………………….Junkie.
Friendship first………………….Former slut.
New-Age………………………..Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned…………………..No BJs.
Open-minded…………………..Desperate.
Outgoing………………………..Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional……………………..Bitch.
Voluptuous……………………..Very Fat.
Large frame…………………….Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate………………Stalker.