Ok, we seriously didn’t make this up. Check it out. Tony McNulty MP has suggested that we should … wait for it … jump up and down when confronted by anti-social behaviour.
He says that people waiting for help can “get back to the police, try some distractive activities.”
Tony “McNutty” McNulty, a Home Office minister, was […]

Janet Jackson detached from reality? Naw…..
While out on a shopping spree with fellow entertainer Missy Elliott, Ms Jackson became enthralled in a new supermarket game called “Aisle Race”. Unfortunately for Jackson, she failed to realise that a) it’s not a real game and b) a shopping trolley isn’t a go-kart.
Jackson told V Magazine: “I haven’t […]

The inhabitants of Middlesbrough are quite a knowledgeable lot and seem to be well-read when it comes to new scientific developments. However, when US scientists claimed cleaning cloths with microwaves could kill harmful bacteria, hilarity (and combustion) ensued when one woman’s attempt to sterilise a cleaning cloth resulted in her kitchen … on fire.
Microwaving kitchen […]

“I could not see what he was tattooing because he didn’t have a mirror. I only saw it when I got home and showed it to my parents.” said an Argentinean football fan.
The teenager asked to have the Boca Juniors logo on his back. However, the tatooist was a rival River Plate fan and thought […]

Harold Levar Jeffcoat, 29, stuck his gun in the stomach of a man getting into his car at a Wal-Mart in northeast Richland County. Upon asking for the keys to the vehicle, the female passenger reached into the glove compartment, produced a firearm and unloaded five round at Jeffcoat. Hilarity ensued as Jeffcoat took one […]

“That’s very unusual. The train runs only on weekends,” said Sgt. Edward Kurtz of Nelsonville police, Ohio.
Two boys from an unlocked juvenile detention home managed to break into and start up a Hocking Valley Scenic Railway locomotive.
They managed to travel 12 miles until they stopped off to go to a grocery store - where they […]

It must be the air, or the Canadian bacon.
Two inmates from Westmoreland Institution broke out of prison, broke in to a house and broke back in to prison with $5,000 worth of stolen goods. Among the goods stolen were jewelry, money, alcohol and other household items.
When the prison was alerted, they did a head count […]

Looks like nothing much has changed, other than who holds the keys to the cells. In any case, Alan Moore and Gregory Dixon received one-year prison sentences for a sex-for-contraband operation that ended in a fatal shootout at a federal prison for women.
Dixon admits having sex but denies receiving anything for it. Moore alleges he […]

Dean Marie, 40, broke into a woman’s house, dressed in her clothes and made love to her bed. “The court threw the book at him” I hear you cry. But oh no … the prosecution couldn’t prove that Mr Marie, of Colne Road, Burnley, had any intention of stealing anything.
The judge said that Marie “intruded […]

British police have said that a man who stole a urinal from a pub has given himself up.
The 42-year-old man walked into the Royal Oak in Southampton, stuffed a white toilet bowl into his rucksack and walked out. Unfortunately for him, the whole incident was caught on CCTV.
Police say the man took the urinal as […]

An Australian bank has become the first in the world (that we know of) to issue a credit card to a cat.
The Bank of Queensland apologised for the mistake after the cat’s owner, Katherine Campbell, tried to test the bank’s identity security system. Obviously, it failed. Horribly.
“I just couldn’t believe it. People need to be […]

A red light at the exit to Interstate 95. A GMC Envoy. A woman named Caroline Funkey and her four passengers. A quiet night … that was until Claude King, 31, entered the scene.
Funkey’s funky night just got funked up.
King smashed the driver’s side window and pulled Funkey from the vehicle. He then got into […]

A pair’s crime spree came to an abrupt end when Broward Sheriff’s Office’s K-9 unit led deputies to the fugitives.
The pair began their wild escapade in the city of Oakland Park. Officers were called to a apartment complex where two teenagers had been robbed in the parking lot.
Shortly after, reports of man being robbed at […]

A quiet town. A local WHSmith. Shoppers going about their daily routines. What no one was aware of, was the danger lurking in the checkout queue.
Enter 18-year-old Hannah Thomas of Weymouth. She thought she could stroll right in to a store and use ordinary christmas crackers to cause havoc in the street of Dorset - […]

If you saw a man laying face down in the street, the first thing you wouldn’t think of is that he fell from five storeys above. Well, enter a 31-year-old Durban man.
He had fallen from the window of a building on the corner of Pine Street and Brickhill Road during an argument. When metro police […]

Bridgeport fire officials say the search for a cat caused an apartment fire that killed the cat and left a family homeless.
Officials say that a woman who used a cigarette lighter to search for her cat under a bed Monday night, accidentally set the bed on fire.
The woman tried to put out the fire, but […]

A bunch of 4-year-olds waiting in line to get on the school bus. A teachers aid gets a hug from one of the kids. Innocent you might think, but not for the teacher’s aid concerned. She’s accusing Damarcus Blackwell’s son of rubbing his face in her breasts.
The Blackwells received a letter from La Vega Primary […]

Snoop Dogg’s been arrested (again) for being in possession of marijuana, cocaine and a firearm - all of which were found in his car.
He was stopped as he left NBC studios in Burbank after recording an edition of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
After the baton incident you would have thought that concealed weapons were […]

The lives of people in Liverpool are finally back to normal after Akinwale Arobieke, 45, was ordered by a judge to “STOP TOUCHING PEOPLES MUSCLES!”.
Merseyside police appied for a Sexual Offences Prevention Order against Arobieke to stop him from walking up to people and asking to measure their muscles or perform squats. He cannot do […]

LAS VEGAS (AP) — You know the saying: “You break it, you bought it.“ But for casino mogul Steve Wynn it’s: ”You break it, you keep it.”
Wynn accidentally put his elbow through a Picasso painting which he had agreed to sell for a record $139 million. Wynn was showing the painting to friends at Wynn […]